Is he on the Down Low or just plain Low Down?

Dear readers:

I feel the need to tell you before I get into this entry that I've a had a good day today. It rained or shall I say it drizzled sporadically throughout the day. It was a bit chilly outside and the temperature in conjunction with the light rain made me feel somewhat sluggish and a bit tired, but overall, I had a good day.

My boss's return from his 4-day meeting in Quincy, IL brought with it a ton of work related to our upcoming projects, but I didn't mind much, because the day progressed well. Despite my allergy attack in the midst of our office cleaning and the slight sinus headache that resulted, I can't say one ill thing about my day. So, I will say it again...I had a really good day today.

I know that you are probably wondering why I just told you repeatedly about how wonderful my day has been, but I think its important that you know this and keep this in your head as you read this entry. One of my favorite scholars Professor Patricia Williams, opens her diary, The Alchemy of Race and Rights, by telling us that subject-position is everything to her analysis of the law, and as such, she tells us how her morning has been as she writes her first entry, The Brass Ring and the Deep Blue Sea.

Well, aside from telling you how my day has been, I will take it a step further and tell you other things that I think I want you to know right now. I'm a black woman. I'm heterosexual and single. I'm 24 and the youngest of two girls. I'm also an afrocentric feminist/womanist. So there you have it...a few details about me that MOST DEFINITELY inform how I go about analyzing and interpreting EVERYTHING!!!!

With that said, as I write this entry I'm listening to the Classic Soul radio station streaming from Musicmatch online. I wish you could hear Al Green wailing Back up Train or Otis Redding's (Sittin' On) Dock of the Bay coming up next. Only classic soul music can get my blood flowing and raise my energy level. In a minute I'll be singing at the top of my lungs. Fuck the neighbors!

My love of pop culture has grown stronger and stronger as I've gotten older. Its developed into a profound love hate relationship that comes to form more as an addiction than an actual relationship. I've found that I need mutliple fixes to get me through the day. Ok, I'll admit it, I love pop culture! I love knowing about whats in and whats out. I love gossip media, radio, television, print...you name it and I'm all up in it. And if you're a black celebrity, chances are, I'm combing through your business with a fine-tooth comb. But even more so, I love commentary on social politics turned pop culture phenomenon! This curiousity, which may have killed the cat...sure as hell hasn't killed me, but it did lead me to J.L. King's book, On the Down Low: A Journey Into the Lives of "Straight" Black Men Who Sleep With Men.

I have so many thoughts trying to leap out of my head and onto the screen right now that I'm not quite sure how or where to begin. So much of me wants to be all diplomatic about this, but I just can't. So here goes.. I think the subtitle of this book, A Journey Into the Lives of "Straight" Black Men Who Sleep With Men is one big old crock of SHIT!!! J.L. could have done us all a favor and called the damn spade a spade, but since he didn't I will.

ATTENTION: IF YOU ARE A MAN WHO HAS SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH OTHER MEN FOR ANY REASON, YOU ARE GAY!!!! Now that I've cleared the air, J.L. a former DL brothah as he refers to himself, would argue that these men aren't gay (he has a whole chapter on it) because they have girlfriends, wives and many have children. They love the women in their lives, they all claim.

Ok then, I take my previous statement back. Instead I'll say, IF YOU ARE A MAN WHO HAS SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH OTHER MEN FOR ANY REASON AND HAS SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH WOMEN, YOU ARE BISEXUAL. But somehow, I think J.L. would have a problem with that statement as well, because he claims that DL brothahs don't participate in gay male culture. According to him, they don't do the things that other gay men do (oh really), such as march in parades, go to gay clubs, or attend gay churches. They aren't fags or punks, and they most certainly don't consider themselves gay!!! Can I say it for yall...W-T-F?!?!? Did I miss something???

Maybe I am naive or maybe I am just far too much of a logical thinker for my own good, that I just can't buy into such bullshit. When did marching in a parade or going to a gay church or even going to gay bars become unique demarcations of gay male culture? As a heterosexual, I go to bars, church and march in parades that while not expressly heterosexual, are understood as venues where heterosexuals participate. Thats just where I'm most comfortable. So I guess my point is simply...millions of people attend church, march in parades and go to bars, how are doing any of the aforementioned things any more or less different based on sexual orientation?

The answer is...there isn't any real difference. So, it ultimately comes back down to the sexual act. So I will say it again for all my brothahs who missed it or just plain refuse to accept it...IF YOU ARE A MAN WHO HAS SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH OTHER MEN FOR ANY REASON AND HAS SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH WOMEN, YOU ARE BISEXUAL. Let me also add, BROTHAHS JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T LABEL YOURSELF AS GAY OR BI AND AREN'T OPEN ABOUT YOUR SEXUALITY....DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE ON THE DOWN LOW. IT MEANS YOU ARE A LIAR!!! YOU ARE A DECEITFUL ASSHOLE WHO SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF THE WAY YOU ARE WRECKING WOMEN'S LIVES.

Yes, I am passing judgment...on the way in which you low down brothahs hide and willfully jeopardize the lives others because you are too much of a coward to admit to who you are! Furthermore, you are too much of a punk to see the damage your actions have on our community. I was enraged by some of the bullshit excuses brothahs gave for not even protecting themselves while engaging in sex with other partners.

I am rocked to the core and frightened not only for my own life but for the lives of my sistahs! It is just plain low down and dirty that brothahs are being so manipulative, especially towards women who believe that they are in a committed relationship. And here's another news flash for you jackasses: YOU CAN"T POSSIBLY LOVE THE WOMAN YOU ARE WITH AND PUT HER LIFE IN JEOPARDY!!!! Its just not possible. So stop telling that lie!!! HIV/AIDS is an epidemic among Black women. We are dying in rapid numbers. See for yourself!

While I can go on and on about how fucked up these brothahs are, some of my sisters are in part to blame. When you learn of your man's affairs, unless you are trying to work it out and he professes to change, get out of that relationship. Don't settle for some bullshit excuses in the name of not wanting to be alone. My daddy always told me growing up...YOU CAN DO BAD BY YOURSELF!!! So to my sistahs, STOP ENABLING, DO NOT AGREE TO THE MAN SHARE! It ain't worth it and despite what you've heard...all hopes of finding a faithful heterosexual black man is not lost. I might not know exactly where they're at, but they're out there.

So I'm going to stop here. As Smokey Robinson professes his love for...Cruisin together, I just want to stress the value of being honest with yourself and with those you profess to love. If we don't love and protect ourselves as individuals and as a community...who will?

-M