A new year, same ol' bullshit, I think NOT!!

Consider this not a new year’s resolution post, but the declaration of a COLORED GIRL WHO HAS CONSIDERED EXILE BECAUSE MOST OF THE PEOPLE IN HER LIFE ARE FUCKIN' INSANE!

You know...it’s really quite simple, 2005 WILL BE A NEW YEAR FOR ME! Gone is the old me that aims to please, that half-heartedly agrees to shit just to keep the peace, that fails to speak up for myself when it really counts, that grins and bares it because I don’t want to seem offensive or ungrateful, that puts other people’s satisfaction ahead of my own, that allows some people to walk on me in the name of friendship, that puts up with other people's nonsense in the name of being NICE! WELL, NO MORE!

I’m entering 2005 with a BANG!! Not only will I not take any shit from anyone anymore, I’m moving on and forward with a clearer head, a lighter body and a stronger heart!

So with that said, I declare that I am taking 2005 by STORM.

I do solemnly swear TO:

1. Rid my inner circle of toxic and otherwise unhealthy people. I’ll be damned if I am gonna play the passive aggressive nonsense game with so called friends anymore. That shit is old, tiring and a waste of my fuckin time. I am sick of the double talk, the lack of support, the frequent catty behavior and the inconsiderateness. Real friendship and meaningful adult relationships are two way streets...PERIOD!

2. Save money even more aggressively than I did in 2004! Since starting my current job in September, I’ve been very diligent about saving money. I am proud of myself for my efforts and accomplishments this year and even a bit surprised. But truth be told, I am sick of renting an apartment and I think that this time next year, I could very well be in position to finally stop!

3. Finally tell certain family members to STOP buying me clothes! Right after I return a few items that I've received over the past few months, I intend to let it be known, gift certificates and cash only! If I get one more outfit befitting a 44, 54 or 64 year old woman…I’m gonna scream! I am 24 years old and despite my mature features, I do prefer to dress my age! I am so sick of the damn moo moo looking blouses, unshapely crew neck cotton shirts, with the sagging armpits and the too big “sack of shit in the ass” looking pants they insist on buying! Damn, I’m a plump sistah, NOT A MORBIDLY OBESE ONE!!! If they would dare to look, instead of acting like my few extra pounds warrants a potato sack and a brown paper bag, I actually have a waistline, not much in the ass department but nice boobs, a decent shape and some sense of style!

4. Lose 20lbs IMMEDIATELY!! While living in Sacramento last year, I started on a serious weight loss journey! Several things had occurred during my year in Sactown that put me on this path. First, I had a revelation, well actually, I had several revelations, but the first one said to me, "Bitch, you will never have Beyonce nor Sarah Jessica Parker's body, so get the fuck over it already!" I have to say that this one revelation alone really opened my eyes for numerous reasons. (1) When people think of weight loss regardless of what size they are, they always imagine their weight, size and appearance as the extreme opposite of their current weight and size. For example, the size 14+ woman imagines being a size 2 or 4, insteading of realizing that a size 8 or 10, might be just right. Unfortunately, I was consumed by these same images! (2) At the time, I hadn't allowed myself to realize that I have too much boobs and not enough ass to have Yonce's body and my frame alone is too large for SJP's size zero. So there! (3) Until then, I never actually imagined a realistic goal weight or size. So now that I know and understand these things, I really have no desire to look like anyone but me, just a bit leaner!

5. Spend more time pampering and rejuvenating myself.
I’m launching a full fledge beauty regiment. I mean everything from my hair right down to my feet, which are currently in desperate need of a pedicure. I already have a regular facial routine, but now it's time to push it to the next level. Aveda Institute, here I come and in addition to wanting a facial, I need these eye brows trimmed and shaped regularly! When I lived in LA, I didn't miss a pedicure or eye brow appointment. Not only am I going to reincorporate these things back into my life and budget, but I'm finally gonna find a permanent loctician. I've been bitching about my uncontrollable hair for months now. Its growing like a weed and I just don’t have the kind of time or energy to do it myself like I use to.

So there you have it!!! This colored girl is starting over fresh, or better yet picking back up fresh and claiming 2005 as my mine!

Talk to y'all next year!!!

-M